Life sucks

BLAH.

Hello all!

Well today was definately a better day. Misha is doing better. That is always a plus, things are also returning to normal so far.   Makes me feel better too. Hehe. One thing this all has taught me is that I really have no need to be down on my self and I have been way too paranoid.  I should just go with the flow and be a little more carefree. I guess since we started dating I just kind of actually cared a lot more.  Guess I shouldn't so much.  It makes for a lot of unwanted drama.  Jay and Mindy are about to break up and Kathy and Brian broke up...glad I got skipped over that storm. WHEW.  Anyway, Misha is still grounded. Major bummer. Always is, Love spending my weekend with her but it will be odd not being able to. Saturday we get to spend most of the day, but she is a bit different at track and doesn't wanna be all lovey... mostly because we are in public and Gallow would FLIP.  I can't run because I don't have 10 practices. I will after next friday which means I get to run... I still haven't got timed.  I know I'm not the best but I'm not slow. I don't know if I'm fast enough to be on the 4x1. Misha says that I will probably be there.  Jedd is on it right now and I know Josh could be on there if he didn't have to be so stubborn. Anyway, thats all for me now. Love you all!

Hello all.

This is quite possibly the worst day of my entire life. Well...nah...but pretty close to it.  Today is my birthday. Yay...not really happy about it though.  I came into the day saying HEY! It's my birthday...nothing will get me down. But just the little things that I am overly paranoid about get the best of me and they certainly have today.  I wanted everything to be perfect today...far from it.  Lets see the morning started out okay, Misha didn't know if she could come with me to dinner for my birthday, thats okay...4th period it feels like she didn't want to look at me or anything, she hasn't touched me she hasn't really did anything. She talks to me a good bit still, though I do most of the conversation topics... she says shes in a bad mood. I forgive her we all have those days. She has had them since Tuesday morning.  Don't know whats up with her... everyone else she talks to she has a smile on and everything but when she talks to me she seems like she doesn't like me or doesn't even really want to be around me.  This I forgive her too, I figure I must be being too lovey on her.  Maybe she just wants a little space. She has been talking to Sam a lot at practice and all and she seems to go places just right where he is and he seems to just be EVERYWHERE.  I am a bit skeptical but do I actually think she will break up with me..No... do I think she still kind of likes him no matter what she says...yes.  But that doesn't matter either... I'm willing to let her do that I am not a control freak.  I come back for Drama and for her just so I can see if she is allowed she tells me she couldn't get ahold of her Mother and she knows she wouldn't be allowed but she wouldn't even get the phone out to ask while I was there.  (that made me worried) I drove off... kept my head held high...until I got to the interstate... I honestly haven't cried for almost a year now and this is the first time I have REALLY cried in a LONG time. I haven't been able to stop crying really since. Hardly ate dinner with my parents and without Misha.  I guess I feel as though she might break it off and I really don't know what I will do without her.  I love her so much and I don't know why she would do this to me...though she really hasn't done anything. I don't know I let my mind wander so much and I have felt like everything I do isn't really good enough for her. I know this is stupid too but I can't help but feel like it.  I have such a headache right now and I stopped over at Josh's...the greatest friend ever. He knew something was up... I honestly don't know what I would do without him either.  There are times when I feel I don't want to be around him but what can ya do? Maybe thats just what Misha is going through right now.  Hopefully it is just a phase and everything can get back to normal because this whole deal is killing me on the inside.   I don't know how much of it I can take. 

Sick

My hands hurt!

STD-Syphilis

Heh.

Not really!  But I do have that rash stuff... AGAIN! Ugh. :( I feel like poo poo.

Well my life has been great for a whole month so far! I think things are finally starting to turn around.  Maybe, The Ladies of Fate have finally given me a good strand to hold on to. The Ladies of Fate delivered Misha to me! :) I haven't felt like this ever, and I am really glad that we are finally dating.  I can't see my self with anyone else.  I haven't been as sweet to her as I was at the begining before we were dating, and I really don't know why.  I think that everytime I try to say something I just say it wrong. Usually when I do think of something sweet, she doesn't get it so maybe I'm just being too complex! Anyway, I really do love that girl. I would do anything for her. My friends think I'm whipped... I am. No dancing around it. I still try to find time with my friends, but it just isn't as good as being with her.  I love the feelings I get when we do anything together. I've never experienced anything like this ever. This does make me think and know in my heart that I am truly in love with her despite how long we've been dating.  I couldn't see it any other way.  I love you, Misha.

-Me

Hello FANS!

-happy-

ME!

State in two days... No lovey for THREE DAYS!

This means that the world WILL end!

Ahh.

Here are some piccytures:

That's all Folks!